The Complete Solution
Good afternoon Sir, how can we help?
You look like you could do with an upgrade or two?
If you don’t mind me asking what business it is?
No I’m not on commission, I’m here to assist
An excellent choice you won’t regret
Are there any new accessories you’d like to get?
A special range of services
I could probe you all day but there’s plenty of fish
I was trying to fill in the empty spaces
Just trying to feel anything
But credit’s on hand to create illusion
So hand me the bag with The Complete Solution
I know it seems robotic. But that’s the trick.
I’ve gotta stick to company script
Somewhere inside I’m just like you, half dead
But this is how I earn my daily bread
What else are we supposed to do?
Benefits or features. What would you choose?
I’m up for a raise and a better role
I know it’s a carrot, but I’m getting old
I was trying to fill in the empty spaces
Just trying to feel anything
‘cause credit’s on hand to create illusion
So hand me the bag with The Complete Solution
I want it
The Complete Solution
Well don’t stand there looking at the time
You know there’s always something
You can do if you’re inclined
Yes you, we’ve had enough of your cockups
On the floor, start shifting product
You git, not like that
Follow up the steps of service lad
It’s what you’ve trained to be
With your faith in tact, repeat after me
Position! Permission! Probe!
It’s all about probing, going in tough
Getting all the goods,
You can never know enough
Are they married? Are there kids?
What games do they play?
Do they live nearby?
And are they gay?
Fall in, ring the bell,
Can I smell someone who doesn’t want to sell?
Sorry, wouldn’t wanna burst your bubble
But chop chop, on the double!
